


He Sees You

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Blood, Drabble, Fluff, Ginger Dave, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Meteorstuck, Panic Attacks, Quadrant mash, Self Harm, be careful babes, i may have self projected a bit oops, it isn't really on purpose he's just freaking out, karkat's upset, meteor journey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:22:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22140940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: He sees you. For the first time in your life, someone sees you, and right then you realize it's the happiest you've ever been.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 1
Kudos: 63





	He Sees You

**Author's Note:**

> this isnt supposed to be super good? this was just a writing thing i started mid mental breakdown and finished later so i apologize if it's bad :,)) i didn't go back and edit it much so if there are any mistakes or lines of text that don't flow very nicely together i apologize. if you want to criticize this piece, go ahead ig but again this isn't something i put much thought into

The meteor, your new home for the next three years. You immediately hate it. It's too quiet, far too quiet. You should be used to quiet, considering you spent the last thirteen years of your life with no one but a vicious monster and the undead crawling outside of your hive. That was peace and quiet, but this is different. This is quiet buzzing with fear and anxious energy and everything you hate, this is quiet with stagnant air and unknowing. You hate not knowing, you've been not knowing your entire life but the universe decided to fuck you over even more and make you survive even though most of your friends are either dead or gone.

Your moirail is gone, your moirail never gave a _fuck_ about you in the first place, and there's no one you're willing to let ease your worries because you reek of self pity and that makes you weak. You can't show weakness, you're not strong, you're not fast or smart, all you can do is be angry and yell at pretentious assholes who think they're better than you to hide your cowardness. You see it as a challenge. Hide your feelings, don't show weakness or you won't survive is one of the first lessons you ever learned. No one gives a shit about you, you have to look out for yourself.

****  
****

You hate the humans. All of them. Yet you got stuck with the two who think they're such hot shit. It's infuriating. Lalonde always tries to best you and turn your words around and you try not to let her, but you can't stop it. It leaves you feeling stupid and weak, you ignore those feelings and keep yelling at her.  
Strider is obnoxious and not cool and always laughs at you when you get angry which just angers you more and leaves you feeling challenged and furious. They're so alien and weird, but sometimes, despite how angry they make you feel, you can't help but think that they're graceful and soft, unlike your species which is violent with sharp angles and ridges. It makes you both less and more angry, you hate it.

****  
****

You sometimes invite the other meteor residents to watch movies with you, most of them say no when you do but Dave and Terezi come most often. You apologized to Terezi when it was just her after a while, you talk with kanaya when it's just her, and you bicker with Dave when it's just him, and that's nice, you begin to see the meteor as your home more everyday but you still feel lonely and weak and angry.

****  
****

You find yourself on the meteor surface more often then not. It's quiet, but not like the stagnant air inside. It's peaceful and wondrous, even if there are less and less stars every night.  
One night you climb onto the surface and you see Dave, sitting cross-legged and holding a sword in his lap. You thought about leaving, but boredom stopped you and you sat next to him, he looked at you and nodded before looking back up at the sky.  
"You come here often?" He joked and you nodded.

"Yeah, actually. It's, uh, different from inside."

Without clarifying what you meant, he just nodded and gripped his sword tighter. While he was looking up at the sky you looked at him. He had pale skin and a cascade of freckles on his face and neck. His hair was fiery red, brighter and more vibrant than any you'd seen from human films. You looked at his eyes behind his shades. They looked red too, but like your blood, not his hair. You hated the color red but that's all he was, red. You didn't hate him, you didn't hate him at all. It suited him, you thought. You didn't show much of a reaction, but you saw that he was just like you, and it scared you, you wanted to leave but looking at him was breathtaking. He looked so fragile but you know he wasn't. He was so strong unlike you, and that hurt so you only allowed yourself a few more minutes to talk to him before you said your goodbyes and left. You realize it's stupid but you want to get to know him better. You don't think he's as bad as you made him out to be.

****  
****

You find Dave again and again. He introduces you to Cantown and you invite him to movies more often. You're still lonely and weak but you find yourself able to find something to look forward too. It takes months but slowly you realize that you might actually feel something more than friendship for him. You try not to think about it, but eventually it gets too much and you realize, in your usual freakish, mutant ways, you fucked up. You feel red for him when you look over at him during movies and see that same gracefulness you usually see when you look at humans, but you also feel pale when you see that same fragility that you saw on the meteor surface. You see spades in those moments you feel challenged by him and clubs (and jealousy) when the bickering between him and Vriska borders on aggressive. You already hated yourself but after you realize your feelings for the human you can't stand yourself. You're a terrible troll, you leave your room because you suddenly can't breathe and your throats dry. You pull at your hair and scratch your arms until they bleed but you don't even notice the pain. All you notice is the freakish red liquid pouring from your eyes and arms.

You throw yourself onto the surface of the meteor from the hatch in the nutrition block and run until you trip and fall. You curl into a ball and you shake violently from crying so hard. You don't care how loud you are and you can't feel any pain, all you see is the gross mutant blood that's spreading from your hands and arms onto the dusty ground. You think it's disgusting. Your thoughts are scrambling and you can't think straight, but your bottled up feelings are crashing onto you in waves and you can't stop your tears. You don't make any move to get up but you scream in frustration and grip your arms tight against you. You think you're getting blood on the rest of your clothes but it's too late. Everyone can see how much of a freak you are, everyone can see how weak you are and you hate it. You hate it so much and you're beginning to feel the pain, and you don't like it. You bite your lips until they bleed and you hurt all over but you don't have the energy to get up so you stay there, still sobbing.

Your vision is a bit hazy, but you hear footsteps approaching you quickly, and you immediately curl more protectively into a ball to hide your face and arms.

"Hey, Karkat? Woah, Karkat you okay?"

You tense up, and peer out from under your arm, and you see the color you hate so much, but attached to that is Dave's voice, and you blink away some of your tears and see him crouch in front of you, close but still giving you space.  
"Hey Karkat, talk to me are you okay? Well you're not okay but, fuck that's, uh, that's blood, okay-" You saw his face pale, and he hesitated, so you took that opportunity to cling to his shirt and heave yourself up to wrap your arms around his waist and put your head against his shoulder. He didn't resist, but he hesitated before slowly reciprocating the hug.

"Wow- this is weird, um. Okay, I can use my brain. Trolls, trolls- Okay, I... I'm gonna do something, you can punch me if you don't like it but I'm trying my best with what I've seen, and then we need to get you cleaned up. Glad these-these are self-cleaning." He chuckled nervously and tentatively threaded his hand through your hair, stopping to scratch your scalp. It took effect in calming you down immediately. He moved his hand through your hair and what he could reach on your face, and your neck and your hair again. It took a few minutes, but you calmed down until there were only stray tears falling. Your arms, hands, and knees burned tremendously and you whimpered in pain. Dave seemed to take the hint and helped you get up. You refused to let him carry you, instead just leaning heavily onto him for support.

He helped you into the nearest ablution block, and asked you to take of your sweater. It took a few moments to build up the willpower too, and as soon as you did you closed your eyes and looked away, just giving him access to your arms and hands.  
"This might hurt a bit." You noticed he wasn't very talkative anymore. Neither are you, you suppose.

It went by in a blur. You felt pain, and then the tight pressure of bandages being wrapped around your arms. He asked you if you had another sweater and you nodded and uncaptchalougued one that you always had for situations like this. You took the bloody one and put it in your sylladex.

"You want to watch a movie? You can pick this time." He asked, and put his hand on your shoulder in comfort. You nodded and he led you out of the ablution block and towards the room that you usually watch movies in. It wasn't too far. You took the time to think about how _pale_ this whole thing was, and you felt your face heat up. You almost felt like crying again. But you shook your head to get rid of the thoughts. You didn't want to be alone right now, you needed this distraction. You can think about your feelings later.

****  
****

After that incident you didn't talk to Dave for three weeks.  
He had only found you when you were looking for food. He apologized to you, you accepted it but declined his invitation to talk. You thanked him too, for helping you, and he asked you if you wanted to watch a movie. You said yes, and sat close to him on the couch. You missed him.

****  
****

There wasn't much time left on the meteor, maybe about a week until you reached the session. You climbed onto the roof and sat next to Dave. It reminded you of the first time you saw him here, and like that time he was holding his sword. "So, uh, it's almost over." Dave said, his voice rougher and deeper then when it was at the beginning of the trip. He was bigger and stronger too, but he still looked soft to you.

"Yeah. It's almost over. But as much as I want this rock to bury itself deep into satan's asscrack and never come back from the fiery depths of his digestive organs, I think I'm gonna miss this place." You sat next to him, leaning a bit onto his shoulder.

Dave smiled, but continued to look out into the sky. His shades were off, you noticed, and you took that opportunity to look at his red, red eyes. You didn't hate the color much anymore. On you, it was terrible, but that was all that Dave was. Red. And it was beautiful.

He put his sword on the ground next to him, and grabbed your hand. He turned his head to you, "You ready?" You hesitated, you're not sure. There's nothing you could do to stop your possible death, but it was nice to think you had an option. You told the truth, though, and shook your head no. He didn't question you, instead just squeezing your hand and offering you a small smile as reassurance.

****  
****

You made it. You really made it. You survived the final battle, and by walking through that door the game awarded you by making you Godtier. You flapped your wings and did flips around in the area of space you were all in. After Jade expanded the drained planet, Dave moved time forward to harbor life, you all descended. You cried and hugged Dave, and it sunk in that you would live forever, with your friends you'd build a new world. It felt amazing, and you were happy, you were so happy. You felt strong, and it wasn't because of your Godtier abilities. You survived, and you did your part to help make a camp for everyone to rest before beginning to rebuild the world. You took that time to go on a walk with Dave, enjoying the sun that wouldn't kill you.  
You stopped in the middle of the forest you were walking through and you sat against a tree. "This is really somethin'." Dave said, playing with the hem of your Godtier sleeve.

You just nodded and leaned against him, closing your eyes. "In a rare moment of patented Strider Sincerity. Thanks for like, sticking with me these years, I really appreciate it." You opened your eyes and were met with fiery red ones.

You sat up and smiled, feeling warm. "Yeah, assfuck, who else was supposed to keep your wriggler-ass from keeling over and dying from utter incompetence." He snorted and slung his arm around your shoulder.  
You realize that he sees you. For the first time in your life, someone sees you, and right then you realize it's the happiest you've ever been. So you take that warmth and you kiss him. You're reminded of the time you broke down on the meteor by the way you cling to Dave. He hardly hesitated in kissing you back. You pulled back laughing, and you started to cry, and his face was shining with how big his smile was. He took his shades off and kissed you again and again and again.

He sees you. He truly does, and you love him, and you get married two years later, and get your first grub four years after that. You're happy, and while you're both still fucked up, you think you're getting better.


End file.
